Mallory Pike, Author Extraordinaire

Private, private, private

2009-04-03T22:08:51Z

Wow.

I never thought that the words Byron, Jessi, and kiss would go together in the same sentence, but apparently that's where I was wrong. It was about three and a half weeks since it happened, actually. Three weeks since I walked in on them .. you know. Kissing. Seems like a lot less time has passed, but ... whatever. That's not the point.

It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. I mean, my baby brother, and my best friend in the entire world. It was surreal. Well, okay, so he's not my baby brother - because that'd be Nicky, and uh.. ew! But ... I don't know. It just kind of hurts because, I mean, how long has Jessi liked Byron? How long has she been coming over to my house just to see him? And what does this mean from now on? Will we never get to hang out like we used to, just us? I don't know. I'm just .. hurt.

It seems a lot more wrong than it probably should, since Jessi is only a few months older than the triplets, and they just turned fifteen themselves. But .. she used to babysit them. It seemed like such a big difference, at least maturity-wise, back when we were eleven and they were ten. But I know that Byron has grown up a lot since then. ~~And Jessi, too - at least we don't play horses anymore.~~

Jess and I haven't really had a decent conversation since, and I haven't really spoken to By, either. I just .. don't even know what to say to them. I'm still pretty stunned. I mean .. Jessi and Byron?! I know I always encouraged Jessi to get a boyfriend, but I didn't think she'd go and pick one of my brothers! Maybe I'm being childish, and stupid, but it's just ... weird! I can't even wrap my head around it.

I need to talk to Benson. Maybe he'll understand.

A Poem & Stuff - A private entry by Mallory Pike

2009-03-10T04:16:37Z

I thought it was gone. I thought I lost it forever that day I ripped it up and threw it away. But I found it! The poem I wrote about Benson a long time ago! I found a sheet of paper that must have been under it, because I can faintly see the lettering. I want to write it on here so that I never lose it again.

She smiles wistfully as she
Waves good-bye to him
From the yard in which they almost shared
Their first magical kiss

She misses him already
Even though he's only been gone
For about a minute

She treasures the time they spend together
Because for those precious moments
She feels a connection that is
Stronger
Deeper
Than anything she has ever felt before

She doesn't know what to call it
Doesn't know how to articulate the feeling, for
Even though she is a wordsmith
She can't put to writing how he makes her feel

She's unsure of what love is
Only fifteen, after all, a mere child -
All she knows is that when they kiss
She feels shivers
And when he holds her in his arms
She never wants to unfold herself
From the safety net which he provides her

The truth of the matter
Is that it is impossible
For her to fall any harder for this boy
Than she already has.

Uh, yeah. That pretty much sums it up. (I have no idea why I wrote it in third person ... it's just what 'came' to me, if you know what I mean, dear Journal?) Even though Benson and I seem to be moving kind of fast lately.. and that sort of scares me a little ... I still.. I don't know. He just means a lot to me, that's all.

~ Still another private entry

2009-02-08T21:26:43Z

I haven't been on in a little while, so you, dear Journal, are probably expecting another depressing entry. But...

au contraire. Actually, I'm happier than I've been in a looooong time. And why is that??

BENSON ASKED ME OUT AGAIN!!!

I'm so happy! I missed him way too much!

I mean, I can't just jump right into this with my whole heart bared again, because I was crushed before, and you don't just get over that with a simple kiss. I'm still cautious. But I trust him. I trust that he won't hurt me anymore.

He's so honest, it's hard not to trust that boy.

Life is good in the boyfriend department of Mallory Pike's life again. ~~Now to fix the family part..~~

~Private Entry~

2009-01-30T17:54:59Z

Okay, so it's been exactly thirty-four days since Benson broke up with me (er.. not that I've been counting, or anything). And I'm still as miserable as ever. I mean, it's a great big mix of things, I guess, but Benson's breaking up with me is definitely one of the main issues.

I'm so sick of it, though. I've cried so much that it really seems as though I should never be able to cry anymore in my life.

So ... I don't care. I'm going to break out of this funk somehow. I'm going to the dance.

Yes. I, Mallory Pike, am going to a dance. Willingly. Without being shoved into it, or concocting elaborate schemes involving me falling ill or breaking limbs.

I don't care. I need to get out of the house. I'm sure however bad it is, I would have had a worst time sitting alone in my room, imagining all my siblings and friends having fun with whoever at the dance.

Maybe I'll email Jessi and see if she's going, too. I don't really want to walk in by myself, and my best friend is better than a date, anyway. ~~I do wish I was going with Benson, though.~~

Private Entry

2009-01-02T16:11:19Z

I can't even believe it.

I don't want to write it down, because it seems like writing it will make it more real .. or something.

Okay, okay, deep breaths, Mal, deep breaths. Start from the beginning. Christmas.

Christmas ... left a lot to be desired, in all honesty. Uncle Joe is gone, Jordan and Adam headed upstairs to wage a battle in the middle of present opening (which sounded like it was of huge proportion, from the noises coming from upstairs) and then By and I left, too. Because I'm such a good big sister. I felt horrible about it, but I had to know about the triplets. At least I came back to the presents quickly.

So, a couple days after my wonderful Christmas, I called Benson feeling kind of upset and wanting to talk to him. Maybe this was why, I mean, maybe I complain too much?

Deep breaths.

So Benson was really distant on the phone (and not in the good way, like we used to say in the BSC). No, he sounded like he was far away, like he wasn't really listening to me, which is weird, because he's usually a good listener. Though lately, to be honest, we hadn't been talking as much as we used to.

So he asks me if I want to come over. I'm delighted to get out of that house, so I agree.

I go in and I can immediately see that something is wrong. I can tell it from his eyes. They always give everything away.

We go up to his room, and he sits me down, and .. and breaks my heart.

He broke up with me. Broke up with me. I can't even type the words without crying.

Oh, God. Why? I just don't know what I did wrong.

And all I can think about is all the times we've been together, everything he's ever helped me through, and I just start crying all over again.

His excuse was something about being busy, about it not working out, I don't know, I didn't pay attention after he said the words, 'I think we should take a break.'

I should have known, lately, we haven't been spending as much time together as normal, we haven't kissed as much, we haven't talked as much, and now .. BAM.

I should have known, I should have known, I should have known.

It's me. Mallory 'puffy red hair ugly needs nose job' Pike.

I just .. I thought Benson was different. I thought we had something, as corny as that sounds.

I thought I meant something to him.

Private Entry

2008-12-09T20:03:50Z

So, Sabrina Bouvier and her best friend, whatever her name is (I can't remember it for the life of me!) invited me to go shopping with them sometime over the weekend. Yes. Me. I don't know why either, Journal.

I'm a little nervous. I mean .. what should I wear? How should I act? Maybe if I can become friends with them, I'll get rid of this stupid Spaz Girl label once and for all.

A part of me is a little suspicious of them, but .. they seemed genuinely friendly, so .. might as well give them a chance, right?

Don't worry, Journal, I have more sense than to just trust them fully. Popular girls generally don't fall all over themselves trying to get to talk to me, if you know what I mean. But who knows? Maybe these two are different. Maybe I'll make new friends out of this!

Letter to Santa!

2008-12-02T21:10:29Z

Hehe, this made me laugh!

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In July I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In January I helped vintage_bentleyhide a body (-173 points). In May artlover_corrieand I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Wednesday I didn't flush (-1 points). Last Thursday I helped byronpike3see the light (8 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-1167 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
malloryp_writer

Try it yourself, everyone! :D

::Private Entry::

2008-11-22T08:04:02Z

It's begun again, LJ.

The Return of the Spaz.

Yesterday in school ... well ... at least they seem to have matured slightly. No more graffiti on my locker, thank God. But I heard a few laughs as I walked down the hall. Not everyone, and not as bad as it was before, but still - it was there.

I avoided poor Benson like the plague. I don't want him to know, even though I'm sure he'll find out eventually, if he hasn't already. Things don't take long to spread in a school as small as SHS.

Besides, I'm sure he wouldn't want to be associated with the loser of the school. He deserves better.

~Private Entry

2008-11-02T17:59:29Z

Argh. I'm so frustrated right now.

Trying to talk to Jordan is like attempting to communicate with a brick wall. I've tried everything in my power to convince him that Benson is a good guy, but no dice. It's not even like Benson has ever done anything to hurt me in any way; he's been nothing but sweet to me. I guess the fact that his name is some variation of Ben doesn't help, either.

I just wish that Jordan could see him for the wonderful guy that he truly is. Okay, so maybe not as .. ahem, wonderful as I think he is. But still. It would be nice if they could be friends .. or at least get along. Or, let me rephrase that - it would be nice if Jordan could get along with Benson. Poor Benson. I think he's afraid to even come to my house if Jordan's home, half the time.

We're dating, and we do hang out quite a bit, but it's mostly in school or, either that, at Benson's house/some other random place. I'm half afraid to bring the poor thing home with me, for fear that Jordan will attack him, or at the very least, spy on us all day. But .. maybe we will hang out at my place sometime soon. Maybe if Jordan is around him enough, and sees that he treats me like gold and that I'm not willing to just break up with him like Jordan wants me to, then he will start to come around. Or at least get used to the idea of us dating, because I don't have any plans for ending that anytime soon (and neither does Benson, I hope!)

Why does Jordan have to be so dang .. stubborn?

Private

2008-10-21T20:59:02Z

I'm almost finished with Benson's birthday gift! I hope he likes it. I had to get Mom to help me. It's a good thing she knows how to sew.

I'm kind of nervous about giving it to him; I hope he doesn't think it's stupid or lame. I'm having a lot of fun making it, though!

I can't wait until his birthday! Maybe I can include some kisses and hugs as part of his gift. ; )

Private Entry

2008-10-17T15:24:25Z

Oh. My. God.

It happened. It finally happened. It actually happened.

I had the talk with Benson. (No, not that kind of talk... not like the talk Mom spews out *shudders*)

I told him that I thought we were more than friends, and .. he agreed.

So, we are officially dating.

I have my second official boyfriend.

Wow.

Sorry, LJ, I'm kind of still too high up on Cloud 9 to write anything worth reading (or even proper sentences or paragraphs, apparantly. Ugh, I can just see the look on Mr. Pearman's face if I handed in something like this for my next essay).

Private Entry

2008-09-26T16:37:25Z

Okay, I'm not going to lie. This whole thing is basically .. Benson centered. I'm feeling really conflicted right now.

Part of me is so happy - happier than I've been in a long time. He's such a great guy, and I feel really close to him - closer than I've felt to a lot of people. Right up there with family, Jessi, and Mary Anne closeness.

But ... he keeps insisting that we're just friends. And it's not like I want to rush this, because I do treasure his friendship, and even if this ... whatever we have ... doesn't work out, I still want him in my life because he is such an amazing person. But ... just-friends don't make out with each other. Much as I hate to admit it ... Jordan is right.

I was fine with being just friends, until the kiss. The kiss (and the subsequent ones) were beautiful, and wonderful, and wow. I have never felt anything as powerful in my whole life. To me ... those kisses ... meant we were something other than just friends.

But Benson still insists we're just-friends, and what am I supposed to say? 'No, Benson, I think we're more.' Right now, I'm not bold enough for that.

Something that Jordan said the other day really struck me, and you know, I think he might have been right. He called us 'friends with benefits'. I hate to think that Benson would use me like that .. you know, just for kisses, and nothing more .. but .. what are we, then?

We haven't reached the point of dating, but we've clearly passed the point of friendship.

I just wish I knew what to call this.

I've Been So Busy!

2008-08-09T05:57:26Z

Hey, guys! Sorry that I haven't written here in forever! I have been so busy with school. I've heard that Grade 10 is your hardest year, and so far, it's proving to be true. Anyway, here are my courses, in case anyone cares:

English 2 (Honors) - Mr. Pearman

Geometry - Ms. Wilkens

World History - Mr. Nepi

Chemistry - Mr. Swift

French - Mrs. Conway

Physical Education - Mr. Rogers (Mom made me take it! Talk about unfair. She wants me to stay fit, or something.)

Child Development - Ms. Vettin.

My favorite class is English, of course. I love it, and Mr. Pearman is fantastique! (Hey, what can I say? I like French, too)

My least favorite class is, naturally, phys ed. I just hate it. Reminds me of back in sixth grade. Gah.

Now, more about English! We're reading Shakespeare! Romeo and Juliet, which I've already read, but it will be fun to hear what everyone thinks about it, and what their opinions are. I just cannot wait until we finish up!

Child Development I just chose because I thought it would be interesting, and so far, it really is! Hey, with a mother who had eight children, you can probably expect me to have a few, too! I just thought it wouldn't hurt to read up on it early! :)

Just thought you all might like to know what's going on! Man, I really missed a lot of entries here!

Library Job!

2008-07-15T12:14:04Z

Well, I know I said the other day that the first day on the job was that coming Monday, well ... I was wrong. It was actually this Monday.

So, I went to the library yesterday. There weren't all that many kids there, because most are at Camp Mohawk - there was Andrea Prezzioso, though, and Jamie and Lucy Newton. Myriah, Gabbie, and Laura Perkins were there as well. Emily Michelle, Andrew, and Karen came, too. There were also some other kids who I didn't know.

Anyway, so I read a few stories to them - Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle, were two of the books for the little ones. Then, their parents took them so that I could read Matilda, by Roald Dahl, to the older ones. They seemed to really like it, since most of them had seen the movie but hadn't read the book. I'm up to chapter four so far.

After the kids went home, I helped clean up around the library a little, putting books in their proper places and the like. ~~I got a little sentimental looking at the card catologue where Ben and I had our silly little fight that time, though.~~

I loved it! It's only twice a week, though (the next day is Thursday), so I won't be making that much money, but between that and babysitting, I should have enough spending money for myself over the summer.

So this is what it's like to be an only child...

2008-07-08T04:57:10Z

Well, everyone's off to camp except for me.

And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm lonely.

Lonely?! I know!

But it's so weird not having Nessa in the bed over there. And not to hear the boys playing Guitar Hero III, and Claire and Margo running around.

~~I really miss them all.~~

It's a weird feeling, I must say.

PRIVATE ENTRY!

2008-07-03T13:55:47Z

For some reason, I'm feeling awfully cautious. I know no one can read this, but still ... I'm putting my tiny bit of swearing behind this cut, which is no big deal at all. I just hope Mom and Dad don't see it on my computer sometime, or something. I don't swear often!

So. Ben has the audacity to call me today! Call, and act normally, as though we're still dating!

I pick up the phone and say, "Hello?"

"Mallory?"

Well, my heart just did a 360 in my chest. All I could do was gasp.

"Maybe I shouldn't be calling you." No shit. "But I just wanted to see how you were doing." How the hell do you think I'm doing? "Mallory?"

"Stop."

"But Mal..." But Mal what, Benjamin? Honestly.

"What, Ben?"

"Can't we still be friends?" Yeah ... friends...

"Ben ... would you give me a little time? You just broke up with me, what, two days ago? You don't sound too heartbroken."

"Mal, I ... I've missed you.." Bullshit.

"Obviously not enough!"

That was when I heard her in the background. "Ben, honey, who's on the phone?" Twist the knife, Ben. Twist it a little deeper.

"Missed me, hmm? Funny. I thought you were slutting around. Is that just because you missed me so much?"

"Mallory Pike, I am not slutting around and you damn well know it!" I don't know anything, Ben. I don't know you anymore.

"Goodbye, Ben."

And I hung up the phone, and went to my room, and cried my eyes out. I put Mary Anne to shame with how many tears I shed.

In fact, I'm still crying. Luckily, Vanessa's not in the room.

I feel as though my heart is shattering into a million pieces right now.

I can't take this anymore.

I have to get away from this place.

malloryp_writer @ 2008-07-01T18:04:00

2008-07-01T20:37:39Z

Ben and I have broken up.

I've been trying and trying to call him all week, but I never got any answer (he's vacationing down in Australia).

He finally called me back today.

He met a nice girl down there. And he realized that he really liked her. But he felt so guilty about feeling that way, that he couldn't bear to talk to me.

Finally, he got up the courage to tell me.

I'm happy for him ... really. I am.

I am.

The wet spots are from my tears of happiness, honest.

A Job!

2008-06-30T17:23:46Z

I checked out the library, and they kind of wanted someone to organize a kid's group, where the kids could be read to, and then do some quiet, reading related activity. I would love to do it, so I signed up! It's for kids ages four to ten. It starts this coming Monday. I can't wait! :D

Babysitting + Sickness = Rough Night!

2008-06-27T04:46:31Z

Mary Anne, I give you an award. An award. I just got back from babysitting the Prezzioso kids, and boy was it rough! I don't know how you did it so much before.

I have the flu, so I was coughing a bit, and little Miss Neatnik Jenny couldn't have that, of course. She was literally following me with a wet cloth, wiping everything that was within breathing distance of me. Gah! Andrea was just being amused by her older sister. I'm so glad Andrea is a tomboy, and not a mini-Jenny, because that would have driven me absolutely insane!

So, I'm miserable. Ughhhh. Stay away from me, I'm warning ya, Byron. Not only might you catch the flu, but you might also get your head bitten off by an irritated older sister!

Everyone's doing it ... :P

2008-06-25T21:39:29Z

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Stealing Cokie's Idea (I know!)

2008-06-25T19:36:14Z

I thought those quizzes were funny, so I decided to do some of my own. Here goes!

Your LJ friends' deep, dark secrets
LiveJournal Username
What is your favorite color?
What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Can you feel the love tonight?

Is really a cyborg	byronpike3
Wants to take over the world	artist_claudiak
Lusts after you	veggiedawn
Is obsessed with eggs	preskristy
Is obsessed with woodchucks	stylishnycgirl
Has an impossibly tragic past	mr_retlin
Has special powers	sl_kilbourne
Is George W. Bush in real life	mr_retlin


This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net

Sagittarius Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

Haha, I have to leave an anonymous comment in my own journal :P

malloryp_writer @ 2008-06-25T02:05:00

2008-06-25T04:50:45Z

Has anyone seen my Aussie boy around? I miss my Ben :(

And in other news - my house is a madhouse. Claire should be old enough to know better, but she's making enough noise to wake the dead. Margo and Nicky are arguing with each other. Vanessa is off in her room somewhere, writing poetry ~~that is so much better than anything I could write.~~ The triplets ... well A and J are blasting their music. B is on LJ (good little bro!). Dad is at work, and Mom is yelling at me to get off the computer. EVERYONE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!

Sleepover? Somewhere? Anywhere? Don't make me beg!

Welcome Home, Dawn!

2008-06-24T06:03:51Z

Welcome back home, Dawn
So sorry that you were gone
We hope you're here to stay
We hate when you're away

Gah! Why can I not write anything anymore? That sounds like something Vanessa would have written she was nine. Argh!!

Anyway, welcome home, Dawn! SO GLAD that you're back! :)

Can't wait to hang with all you girlies again! This summer is going to ROCK!

~~Now if I could put together anything remotely resembling good writing, everything would be fine.~~

Mallory Pike, Author Extraordinaire

Private, private, private

A Poem & Stuff - A private entry by Mallory Pike

~ Still another private entry

~Private Entry~

Private Entry

*Private Entry*

Letter to Santa!

::Private Entry::

~Private Entry

Private

*Private Entry*

*Private Entry*

I've Been So Busy!

Library Job!

So this is what it's like to be an only child...

PRIVATE ENTRY!

malloryp_writer @ 2008-07-01T18:04:00

A Job!

Babysitting + Sickness = Rough Night!

Everyone's doing it ... :P

Stealing Cokie's Idea (I know!)

malloryp_writer @ 2008-06-25T02:05:00

Welcome Home, Dawn!

Private Entry

Private Entry

Private Entry